✦    for you    ✦

Hey Licku...

So I was upset earlier. I won't lie about that. When you said talking stage it just... hit different. Because for me this has never felt like just talking. It has always felt like something I didn't want to put down.

But then I read every single page...

The unknown numbers you picked up without even knowing it was me... just because something told you to. The bike sketch you drew on my birthday and stayed nervous about sending. The calls that started at 11 PM and somehow became 3 AM without either of us noticing. The small fights that felt big in the moment... and the way we always found our way back without making it a thing. June 9th. All of it. Every single detail you remembered that I didn't even know you noticed.

And I realized... I can't even be upset anymore.

Not at someone who stayed up making something like that for me... Not at someone who wrote every little thing down like it actually mattered... Not at someone who trusted me with her insecurities and shared her pain with me... Not at someone who gave me her trust without me even asking for it... Not at someone who became soft for me... when she didn't have to... Not at someone who showed me what real effort looks like... Not at someone whose voice on the other side of an unknown number still felt like home...

And honestly... there are so many more reasons I could write. But I think you already know them. Because somewhere between all the late nights and the random calls and the dumb jokes... you became my favorite kind of feeling.

I'm not in like you mode anymore Licku... I think I'm somewhere much further than that. And it doesn't even scare me.

I don't want talking stage. I don't want undefined. And I won't define it through a text either...

because...

some things deserve to be said properly. Face to face. So for now... just know that I'm not going anywhere. And when the right moment comes... you'll know exactly what this is.

— Chinu
♥
✦   ♥   ✦
just so you know

Okay but real talk Licku... you called it talking stage. And then made a 6 page anime story about us. Those two things don't go together and you know it. 😭

And I get it. I do. Being scared of something that actually matters is different from being scared of something that doesn't. You wouldn't be scared if this was nothing.

So I'm not asking you to have it all figured out. I don't either. But I need you to stop calling this something small... because it's not small to me. It hasn't been for a while now.

You're the person I randomly think about in the middle of doing completely unrelated things. You're the reason I smile at my phone like an idiot in public. You're the one I want to tell first when something happens... good or bad. That's not talking stage energy Licku. That's just... you. Being you. And somehow that being enough for me.

I just needed you to know where I stand. No games. No confusion. Just this.

I'm all in Licku. Quietly. Patiently. But completely.

You don't have to say anything right now.
Just... don't forget that someone out there
is already sure about you.  🤍

— Chinu
♥
always  ·  yours  ·  chinu